Crouching at the Door

"The Lord said to Cain, 'Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted (or 'will there not be a lifting up of your face')? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for (or against) you and your must rule over it." Genesis 4:6-7

Oh, to be accepted by God. Oh, to feel accepted by God. My face so often falls like Cain when I screw things up or maybe I don't even screw things up but for some reason God doesn't bless me like He did last time. And I know so well that feeling of sin crouching at my door when i screw up, ready to condemn me and harass my mind by making me focus on the specifics of how I screwed up. God tells me to rule over this sin though. I have something that Cain didn't have though and that is Christ. I have the promise of Christ, freeing me from sin and condemnation. Still, I must rule over sin and condemnation with the promise of Christ and man is it hard sometimes. I screw up so often on my ship that when I am well acquainted with this feeling of not doing well. I'm trying to make my work an offering to God and so often it feels like it's not being accepted by God and I'm not being blessed in return.
Yet I have already received every return I could want in Christ. Far be it from me that I should respond in bitterness like I did as a spoiled child and run from my father and mother and lock my self in my room. I so often forget that God's posture of holding his arms open for me to come never changes no matter how much I screw up. I heard a sermon recently on a different passage in Genesis but he made the point that when a child sins, the parent never wants the child to run away but wants them to run to them. With God it is the same.